


conspiracy to commit treason

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: me sobbing about critical role [117]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series), The Bifrost Incident - The Mechanisms (Album), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Amnesia, Bittersweet Ending, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Eldritch, F/M, Gen, Memory Alteration, Not A Happy Ending, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22352701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: "-and that's where I come in. Expositor Second Class, Beauregard Lionett. Cobalt Soul transport police. Because the Ratatosk Express has finally arrived in Wildemount:eighty years late."
Relationships: Fjord & Caleb Widogast, Fjord & Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre & The Traveler, Nott & Caleb Widogast, Nott/Caleb Widogast
Series: me sobbing about critical role [117]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1266866
Comments: 16
Kudos: 55





	conspiracy to commit treason

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend listening to The Bifrost Incident by The Mechanisms while you read this for maximum pain

Caleb sits in the compartment and stares, unseeing, at the wall. Well, no. Not unseeing. He sees blood, a face, a bright light that burns his eyes and he hears screams and feels the heat of explosions on his face. His fingers itch for fur that isn’t there and he wants to cup a face he can’t recall and he is crying and he doesn’t know _why_. 

He breathes and it is steady and he blinks and it is slow and his mind is buzzing with blood-fire-warmth- _N_ _ott_ -who? and he stares at the wall and doesn’t move. He doesn’t notice the door opening or the shocked face of a once-friend or the angry, strangled shout. Flashes like camera bulbs fire in his brain and he tries to picture a face he can’t remember. The door slams shut. He stares at the wall.

_Fjord is somehow bigger and smaller than I expected. He’s got broad shoulders but he’s average height, and the thing that gets me is I can_ feel _the anger radiating from him, even as I watch him through grainy camera feed decades old._

_He’s striding purposefully towards the carriage I know is Jester’s- the architect of this project- and I can’t tell if he’s angrier at the fact that the man who killed Molly still lives, or because of what Jester has done to his mind._

Fjord slams open the door to Jester’s carriage, feels the weight of star-razor on his back and the way his teeth ring as the train speeds onward. _W_ _hat have you done to him_ he growls, and Jester looks serenely back. There is none of the joy or wisdom that used to hang in her eyes. They’d been friends, once. Met when they were young and wandering and grew together, learned together, thought about _ruling Exandria_ together. And then the dreams had started. Murmurings in the dark of something called _the Traveler_ as the Bifrost Project progressed and he watched as she spiraled further and further away, helpless to stop it. (He's not powerless anymore.) Her eyes reflect the rainbow streaking in striking lines from behind the glass windows and Fjord shivers at the intensity of it.

He shoves his discomfort and hurt and worry down and down and down until all that's left is a heavy, burning anger. Jester's calm inflames it higher, and he turns on his heel and intends to walk out before the memories make him do something too soon, but he instead walks directly into a pair of guards. He growls.

_I’m reasonably confident it’s Fjord that led the train to it’s destruction. From what I can salvage from the tapes, he’d been poking around with a master key, which is what led him to Caleb in the first place. He wasn’t exactly subtle about his disapproval of Jester’s obsession with the project, even in public, and after finding that bombshell, well, he’s not exactly short on a motive._

_As he’s being dragged out of Jester’s compartment, he kicks out in a random fit of anger, which is odd enough given what's been noted about him. But the lock that he smashes leads to Caleb’s compartment. I’m all but ready to write Fjord up as the saboteur when the feed cuts out. Because of-_ fucking _-course it does. Dairon is going to kill me._

 _I reach over to turn off the feed, glancing at the dining car as I do, and I have to do a double take. I wouldn’t have recognized her if I hadn’t been combing through Caleb’s insanely thick file, but I_ swear _the Chief Attendant is Nott. Caleb’s- well, the stories are conflicting. Wife? Sister? Best friend? I’ve even heard some people claim daughter, although from the way they’re looking at each other in the pictures I can scrounge up I'd bet money on wife. Not to mention that ever since Yeza got five life sentences on the prison island of Hel, she's the highest ranking member of the Xhorhassian resistance._

_At first I think she’s just there for Caleb, but then I see Nila and Cali among the cooks, Shakaste's working the bar. Every fucking one of the serving staff is a member of nott’s old crew. And before the Express set off, they’d already built stops along every continent in Exandria, including Hel._

_She’s planning a jailbreak. One that’s taking the entire imperial government hostage._

_It's ballsy, I'll give her that._

Nott thinks about the fury that’s nestled inside her chest and the acid bottles on her belt and the crossbow on her back and the cause she’s fighting for so she doesn’t have to think about how everything on this train reminds her of Caleb. Once it falls, she’ll have Yeza back and they’ll take back Xhorhas in short order. It doesn't matter that Caleb isn't here to help them, because he died doing what he believed in, he died protecting them, and if she says it enough maybe one day she'll believe it.

She pats her belt one more time before heading out into the hallway.

_(She passes by the passenger compartments when she spots the broken lock. She pokes it, and there’s suspicion on her face as the door swings inwards. She swings her crossbow off her back and loads it. Then she spots Caleb, and all the hardness and melancholy fall away.)_

Nott runs to Caleb as the tears begin to fall. She cups his face in her hand- his cheeks are hollow and his eyes have always been bright but now they’re so vacant, it scares her- _C_ _aleb? Are you really here?_

I saw you die for me, she thinks and doesn’t say. Her throat feels tight but she lifts his chin, looks into his eyes desperately. _C_ _aleb, I won’t leave you. Do you hear me? I_ won't. _I’ll stand with you and we’ll make them pay, we’ll- oh, what have they done to you? Of all the things why did they have to take your_ mind _?_

 _Please, remember me_ , she begs. _Remember us._

She knows it’s fruitless. His eyes are cold and jagged and _empty_ and it shreds her heart. _A_ _ll I’ve endured, all they’ve taken from me and still they win._

She stands and chokes down her tears. Her spine straightens and while the tears still flow her eyes are firm. _I_ _’ll take them down_ , she swears. _I_ _’ll take them down for you, but please Caleb_. _S_ _tand_. _S_ _tand with me_.

_Nott leaves. It’s at this point the recording really starts to break down. Whole areas of the train are just static for hours, with random bursts of distorted audio. Frankly, I'm at a loss._

_I find a few seconds of Caleb wandering the carriages, passengers staring at him in confusion._

_There’s brief audio of Nott, talking with Fjord about gaining access to something._

_A looped clip of a guard dragging Caleb none-too-gently to Jester’s cabin._

_A static image of Nott and Fjord standing outside the door to the engine room- the one camera that never worked- and Fjord is bleeding._

_And then ten minutes of Jester’s face, smiling directly into the camera. I can’t tell if the image is frozen or not, but after watching her increasingly erratic behavior I… can’t shake the feeling she’s…_ looking _… at me._

_Then nothing until the end._

_And that’s it. I have_ nothing else _. Four suspects, all of which could have destroyed the train by accident or on purpose. I've re-watched this footage more times than I care to count, but I haven’t missed anything. I don’t know what happens next._

Caleb feels the memories like flash-bangs, they sears his eyes but he can’t look away- _C_ _aleb please i’m right here_ \- Who is he, he left something behind but he can’t- _T_ _hey can’t have taken all of you, I_ know _you_ \- Who are they, why does he trust them? and he can feel the trust, like a river stone steady in his gut, but he can’t see their _face_ \- I _know you’ve suffered, we’ve both suffered_ \- He tries to keep hold of the memories but they slip through his fingers like dust and he-

_Her world must burn_ \- who is she?- _the point of no return_ \- is that me? _\- we’ve nothing but our shackles but our bonds are weapons too_ \- shame is dragging down my soul _\- our freedom and our vengeance_ \- make me whole, make me-

_I’ve been watching it for days. The same scenes, the same faces, over and over. Distortion, interference, static. It’s all a blur. I should apologize to Zeenoth for all the shattered coffee mugs. Maybe buy him a gift basket or something._

_Nothing. I’ve got_ nothing _. I’ve got one option left, and I_ really _don’t want to use it. But I want to show up to my meeting with Dairon with nothing even less. Shortly after the Ratatosk Express failed to actually fucking come back, some bandits showed up to take advantage. They've got shit like we've never seen, and it took almost twenty_ fucking _years to find them. Even weirder- the in sixty years they've been locked up, they haven't aged._

 _They have an affinity for_ _tech beyond what we know. If anyone living understands this shit, it’ll be them. I fucking_ hate them.

_Ah, good morning Expositor Beau!_

She can feel her already non-existent patience fraying. _O_ _’brien._

 _And what can we do for you this_ fine _prison day?_ he asks, with a smile that should, by all measures, be sincere, but is not.

 _-is it about the express?_ cuts in Jaffe. His eyes are the same as usual, cutting into her like a cold blade. She holds them stubbornly until he looks away. It doesn't feel like a victory.

_Uh, yeah. How'd you know?_

_The train arrived, didn’t it._

_Yeah- a few days ago._

_-oh, then we should be going._ Bailey is smirking. Beau thinks about punching her, or the wall next to her head, but clenches her fist instead.

 _Ha. Ha. Good luck with that. Look, I’m just here to figure out what the_ fuck _happened with the train._

_Well then. We.. shall.. tell you!_

I smash the violin that’s somehow in Sam’s hand before he can get out more than a few notes. He frowns at me and I scowl back.

Shut _up. No singing. I'm_ sick _of your singing. Where did you even- never mind. Just tell me what happened._

_Well if you’re going to be like that, you can just watch the black box._

_No, I can’t._ she grates out. _The data’s too corrupt._

Matt takes the box and fiddles with it for a second, and then hands it back.

_The recordings are clear now._

_I- I can see_ everything _._

 _The first thing that matters- that_ really _matters, is from the locomotive. Fjord and Nott are standing in the engine room, staring towards where the engine should be._

_There’s no engine._

_Instead there’s a man lying on a silver altar. His name is Caduceus, a mid level member of the Resistance. That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is the dozens of tubes and feed lines plugged into his veins, pumping blood through unrecognizable glyphs and channels and gears and sigils. I've never seen magic like that. It hurts my eyes just looking at it through the feed._

_The chamber is covered in them. The metal's the same as what's making up the tracks, and there’s a humming I can feel in my teeth just watching it. If I listen hard enough, I can hear chanting._

_Judging by their faces, neither of them had any idea. After a few seconds of mute horror, Nott starts pulling tubes out of Caduceus, and the blood starts to pool on the floor. Fjord is throwing switches and pulling levers seemingly at random._

_I don’t know if it was moving Caduceus or messing with the controls that did it, but the glyphs begin to move and warp. Both Nott and Fjord freeze. They can see that something has changed. Something is very, very wrong._

**_Y̵̢̢̨̰͓͉̹̖͚̬͎̘̝͝'̵̡̬͖͍̙̮͎̋̋̀A̸̛̪̼̱̩͖̹̖̾͐̒̇ͅḮ̷̡̭͉̯̗̳̪͓͉̭̲͌͗̒̂̇͘͝ ̴̨̧̧̗͕̘̗̰͇̥̻͎̜̣̠̿̈́͑̄͝'̶̧̛͎́̀͛͂̄̀̏͂͆̉̚͜͝͝͝N̴̮̳̪̖̳͒̅̕͜G̷̰̠̹̪̻͎͕̣̖̤̘͖̓͊̋̐̏͂̍̓̓'̵̗͙̪̣̖͆̈́̐͆͂͒̎̈́͜͝N̴̨̗̖͖̮̑͐̐̈́͐̈́̕͜͝G̷̗̟̮̹͊̉͌̔͊̓̅̄̒̋̚̕ͅĄ̶̡̙͇̗̝̹͓̜͎̼̠̈̄͆͌̚͘̕͝͠͠H̶̺̭̠͂̈́̿,̴̧̜͓͎̦́̿̏̇̈̔̈ͅ ̶̹͍̪̬̯̤̩̍̈́̔̓͆̾͛̚͝͝Ỳ̵̨̜̦̪̗͔̦̑̔̉̆̑̑̕Ǫ̶͙̯̦͉͙̜̩̯̾̌̉͋ͅG̸̜̪̗̈́̄-̵̧̰̗̗̤̪̺̾͑̏̄ͅS̶̨̰̩̜͎͈͎̳̞͚̰̲͖͍͉̓Ǫ̴̛̛̱̰͊͒̏̌̀͑̾́̚͠͝Ṯ̶̛̤̞̹̎̓̐̚̕͝H̵͖͙͖̝̯͉̖͊͊̉̄̾͠O̸̢̖̙̼͍̯̝̟̯͔̮͚̿͜T̵͔̼͖̦̮̫̫̭̃̓̿̾̑̍̏͐̾͌̕͠H̸̢̺̻̰͖̲̗̲̲͖͉̯̑̒̆̅̽̿̕ ̴̨̘̰̼̖͆̔̈́̌̑̇̿͆͌̔͂͆̚͠H̴̖͚̩̩̜̻͚̙̘̹̺̕͜͜'̸͈̯̟̆̔͋͛͆̐͂Ę̵͕͙̥̭͉͍̺̝̹́̃̕Ĕ̴̛̛̗͍̫̥̃́͊̉͒̾͂̈̕-̵̢̨̡̡̬̗̲̬̩̭̘̖̔̿̇͊͆̄͒̎̾̕͠͠L̶̡̛̬̳̹̜͌̏͌̆̂̽̈́͠'̵̪̪͒̑͌̌̎̓̉͂̌͂̅̀Ġ̶̨̲͓̰͔̘̟̌̊̂̋̉̔̄͠͠Ê̵̜̈́̈́̂̍͒B̵̧͖̖̙͚̪̳̙̙͉͚̖̊̈́̈́̆͜͜ ̶͉͊̿͝ͅF̶̢̨̛̹̫̝̤͈̬͙̻̻͆̏́̓'̶̧̛̖̻͓̥̳̠̭͕̓͋͋̅́̆̉̾̿̎̏̂͜͜͝A̸̛͙͔͓͚̓̃̂̒̓̈́̒̐̇̍̽͝I̸͓̝̺̞̟̬̖̯̥̅̒͘͜ͅ ̴͕̒̋͆̿̉̿̓̒͑͑̌̚̚͝T̵̥̦̆̋̆̈̈́Ḫ̵̡̛̞̱̳̟̲̯͖̬͙̠̖̩̣͛̇̇͘Ṟ̵̡̬̫̰͇̪̻̹̖̻̹͈̋̃̋͆̈́̌͑͆͌͑͆̔͛͘̕ͅƠ̵̛͖͎̼̬͈͔̺̭͙̻̑͛̈́̄̈́́̕͜͜͝D̷̡̡̲͈̻̹͖̻͈͈̰̲͙̮̍̾̉̐̅̒̎̆̕̚͜O̶̢̢͓̣̲̲͍͖̙̘̣̤̭̝̬̔͝Ģ̵̛̱̤̱̩̰̯͈̞̥̤͔̭̤͆͆̾̉̐̄̃̔͑͠ ̸͓̥̞̹̫̣͓̟̿͐͜ͅU̶̦̥̘̲̣̔̔̔̽͛͑̄̀̿̈́̔͝͝A̴̲̰̖̳͛̐̓̇͐͌͠Á̵̢̨̺͈̞͔̺̋̈́̑͑͂̅̒ͅA̵̰̠̝̤͊̈́̈́̈́͊̇̂̐̐͝͠Ḧ̷̛͚̓͋͑̃͘͘͘_ **

**_  
_****̸͎̝̼͇͓̱̬̾̔̏̅̏̒͌̿̉̓̓͜͝Ơ̷͚̠̫͗̊̽͑̽̈́͘Ģ̶̡̢̘̥̹͕̭͔̳͓͚̬̆̓̂̅͒̾̏̍͊͂͝T̸̨̞̔͛̑̈́̉͋̅̓̑͐̕͘ͅH̸̤̠̝͎͎̗̖͕̭͋͂͐̒͌̄̉̾R̴̹̦̜͚̝̗̪̈͐͂̉̆͋͜͝Ö̷̧̩̦̬̌̈́̊̐̃̿͊̂͛͐͒̽͂D̸̡͍͎̘̳̝̫̦̙͚͇̺̦̮̓ ̷̨̻̟͖̠̮̉͗͛͝A̵̻̥̓̕I̶͚̳͇̐͒̆͗̑̉͂͋̄͠'̶̙̟̯͖͉̫̼̻͓̭͉̞̅̇̊̌͘F̵̢̥̺̙̤͈͖͕̙̙̠̍̑̊̈́͋̂̔̀̄̈́͐̈́̈̌͜ ̷̟͚͖͓̐̌͊͗̉̓̔G̵̢̬͓͍͂͂̽͛̔̄͂̐̈̽̂͜͝Ê̶̛̻̞̤̪̼̻̠̺̩̋͛̇́͗̕B̶̛̙̣̀̋̿̽͌̿͌͂͊̑͋́̔̕͜͜'̵̧̛̤̲̱̠̲̟̩͎̙̈́̏̾̋̑ͅL̷̡͎̲̙͗͒̎̓͜ͅ-̵̤̙̜͇͍̃͒̾͋́͌͂̇̽Ě̸̛͖̈́̓̇͋̚Ḙ̶̜̭̖͔͔́͒̇̚̚'̶̧̢͉̣̮̩͖̩̎̏̂̀͊̿͂̉͐͊̊̈̚H̵̢̧͉͕̫̮͖͔̱̓͛̉ ̸̡̛̝̟͕̫̝͓̤̱̎͂̄̅̿̓̕͝Y̴̝̺͖̳̠̲͐́̋̽͋̄̽͝Ȏ̶̢͓̗͇̠͗Ḡ̸̢͈͔̫̘̑̀͝-̴̰͙̥̻̋͂̾̆͜͝͠S̷̡͉̳̘̟̖͙̗̰̞̃̍Ȏ̶̮̩̹̣̒͋͊͆̕T̵̪̣̟͖̦̥̾͆͆̍̀̾̇͛̈́̚͘̕͝͝Ĥ̵̖̘̐̐͘͜Ŏ̵̢̡̭͙̰͌̿́̅̊͒̂̕T̶̨̠̻̪̬̻̖͑̈́̒͜͠H̴̜̺͍̦͇̣̠̉̓ ̴̡̜̤̯͐͛̇̅̕͜'̵̗̼̝͚̭̺̱̦͊̔̂N̸̮̗̗͊͗̍̃̚Ģ̵̛̠̬̫̭͖̈̔̎̑̐̇͗̄̌̈́̀̓̈́A̴̯̐̓̑͆̆̆̐̌̌̆̿̃̉͘Ḥ̸̡̻̲͎̖̟̩̻̖̞̞̭̠͊͗̋̕͝'̸̳͆̕N̶̡̨͓̣̺͔̼̞͍͓̱͕̩̓̒̾͝Ģ̵̪̼̞̞̘͈̱̼͓̙̻̑̓̓͋̈́̎̃͘͘͜ ̵͍̈́̿̍́̈́͛̓͋̒̂̐͠Ȃ̵̯̳͉̻͔̠̳̻̑̌͐̓̈́̑́̐̿̈́̓̚Ï̸̛̛̭͇͕͈̣̔̽͗̈́̽̌̌̿̈́̇'̸̨̛̮͇͉͎̱̖̘̳͎͙̘̍̀̈́͆͊̒̕͝Y̶̡̱̰̳͗ ̵̦͋̈́͒͘͝Z̷̧̦̹̹̮͇̯͎̪̩͌̋̊H̸̛͍̐͑̅̉̄̃̒̆̎̒̕R̵̛̛͖̤̟̤͈̱͖̦̩̠̞̱̖͌̋̏̒̾͂̎̿̌͛̚͜͝O̷̬̠̮̩̮̲̦̜̠̅̏͊̏̌̈͜͜**

_What are you doing here?_ Nott thinks, staring down at Cad, who is supposed to be safe in his home, hiding- _J_ _ester what have you done?_ thinks Fjord, who is struggling under the weight of the change he must reconcile in his closest friend-

_(Caduceus bleeds out in a manner of seconds. There are screams coming from the carriages. Fjord walks out in the direction of Jester’s compartment, leaving a trail of bloody boot prints behind him.)_

Jester is staring out through the observation window, untouched by the chaos surrounding her. Caleb is staring at her, blue eyes still jagged but _clear_ , now. W _hat have you_ done _, Jester?_

 _I've done it!_ Jester says, fervor in her voice. _I_ knew _the dreams were for me! I can't believe I ever thought- when the Traveler comes through, you'll see..._

 _This isn’t what we planned, Jester_ Caleb begs. _The Express was supposed to help people! W_ _e didn’t understand what we were doing! Once I realized, I couldn’t stop it- I couldn’t stop you. There’s no protection, now_. _W_ _e’ve_ derailed _._

 _Yes!_ Jester cries. _D_ _on’t you see? It’s higher than us, than all of us. You heard the call, I know you did, but you ran. You were a coward. The Traveler chose_ me, _and you couldn’t have stopped me anyway._

**_t̶̳̰̝̱̼͖͓͙͙̼͚̼̺͍͑̋̍̀̓͠Tḩ̷͎̜͔̦̱̗͘͜͝e̸͚̘̦͍̝̯͕̺̝͓͖̦͎͑̽͂̓̉̍͌̉̅̐͌̿͠ ̶̨̛͔͉̪̳̯̪̤͍̭̙̮̪̭͒̈́̈͛̂̚̕d̷̢̦͚̲̻͎̲̰͚̯̹͊̕͜ͅr̶̝̣͓͌͗̈͋͒͗͌̈́̏̋̔͘͜ȩ̷̣̫̝̟͕̞͎̈̋̆̓̎̀a̶͉͍͔͕̬͗ḿ̷̢͔̳͈̬̠̯̜͖̉̾̓͊̑̀́̚͠͠s_** ̶̈͛̋̔ ** _w̷̢̠̖̞̱͇͖̜͚͕̋h̷̛̝̲͉̓̏͊̒͑̇͊̿̍͘͘͠͝i̵̟̎̔̿̓s̸̛̥̗̤͙͓̩̖͕̰̘̝̖̻͔͆̂̒̾̿̔̿̓͛̍̈͝p̴̡̡̯͔͕̰̪̦̳̗̟̝̝̂̒̈́͆̓̓̎̃̄̅̚̕͜͝ẹ̸̜̩̰͍̒̍͌̉̉̀́͊̇̽͂͆̕̚͠r̴̛̲̝̹̰̳̲̥̼̳͐́͒̅̈́̎̏̍͘͠͠e̸̢̛͎̹͈͙̗̱̗̰̬͔͋͑͊̄͗̈́͒̈̽́ͅͅͅḓ̶̈͆̏̀̓̎͗̉͂͌̔̃ ̸̠͓̟͓̞͉̪̫̦̰́̿̋͌̄́͠m̷̧̛͓̣̩̖͚̰̝͈͓̤̠̋͛́̄͆̍͛̕ͅý̴̧̳̼̲̼͔̲̦̱̙̰̯̩̪̒͂͋̚͝͠ͅ ̵̞͎̱̲̜̟̱͙̬̩͂͒̇́̔̎̉̌͊̇͊̍̈́͘͝n̸̢̨̬̳͎̠͓̲̘̖̤̈́̽͆̆͛ą̷̼̼̤̩́m̷͍͍͉͚̳̞͖͎͖̘̤̔̐̅̐͊̅͂͜e̴̹̩͇͙̙͕͚̯͚̠̤̱̒̆̆̒͋͂̚̚͜͠!_**

-

_Caleb turns away and leaves Jester to her mad zealotry. He heads toward the front to find Nott. At least they can die together. Fjord emerges from the engine room, sorrow lining his eyes, intent for vengeance. They’re both facing a wall of claws and teeth and eyes and flesh, the squalling, wriggling things from between realities._

_They steel themselves and advance. Caleb thinking of his partner, Fjord of his vengeance. The empty carriage they step into is almost peaceful. Warped remains litter the floor, barely recognizable. Caleb and Fjord lock eyes as they pass._

_Fjord, weren’t we friends?_

I remember, and now- it ends. 

_Where are you going?_ Where are you going?

_For love-_

For vengeance-

Die in peace-

_Die in honor-_

**Perhaps that’s enough.**

Fjord tears through the bleeding wall of Jester’s cabin with the star-razor. He staggers and feels the sting of hundreds of cuts on his skin. Jester laughs.

> (Jester, younger, eyes big and round and blue and full of love. 
> 
> _Do you want me to heal that for you?_
> 
> She asks, waving a hand as his cut. 
> 
> _I- uh, if, if you want to_ he stutters, young as well and blushing fiercely. Jester laughs, and so does he.)

_W_ _hat the fuck have you done?_

_I have given us apotheosis! A final completion! The touch and gaze of he to whom we are less than nothing!_

_You know this was going to happen!_

_When I built this I could never have guessed where the songs of my dreams would lead. But we’re here, and when the train reaches Wildemount the Traveler will follow and share his balance with us all!_

This isn’t a fight Fjord can win and he knows it. He limps nine steps to the glass window Jester spent so many hours staring through, and stabs the star-razor through it. 

The stars claim them both. 

Caleb sprints awkwardly through the train while Nott kneels in despair in the engine room. Caleb touches her shoulder with an aching gentleness and they hold each other tightly. 

With tears flowing freely, Caleb explains what they have to do. _W_ _e can’t prevent him from following us into our world_ he says,

 _-but we can delay it_ , Nott finishes. 

Keep the train on track as long as possible. Together.

 _We have so little time_ Nott says, squeezing his hands.

 _We’ve always had our loads to bear_ , Caleb says, squeezing back. 

_I won’t leave you_ , they say.

Caleb lies on the altar still soaked with Caduceus’ blood and Nott pushes a line into his heart and holds it tight. A single drip flowing through the glyphs. When Caleb’s heartsblood is gone, the train will arrive, but until then they are together. 

Through the pain, Caleb kisses Nott. It is sweet, and tastes like blood and metal and _you-are-my-heart_.

_Goodbye my love, yet shed no tears. The lives we’ve shared have brought us here._

**Author's Note:**

> for clarity: Caleb is Loki, Nott is Sigyn, Fjord is Thor, Jester is Odin, Molly was Baldur (rip), Beau is Lyfrassir, and Caduceus was Kvasir (rip)


End file.
